


you've forgotten (that you care)

by palateens



Series: Grand Larsony [12]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/F, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Romantic Fluff, Trans Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 12:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14080470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palateens/pseuds/palateens
Summary: The line goes dead. Lardo spends half the night wondering if Shitty meant to say that. And if they’re on the same page when she says love like that.





	you've forgotten (that you care)

**Author's Note:**

> for Lardo Week   
> prompt: songs/lyrics

November 2021 

 

“Hey,” Lardo says automatically. “Look, I know it’s been forever but uh... I found out I have, like, depression today? And it made me realize that maybe my life wasn’t always shit. I mean... it felt like shit, but it wasn’t always your fault.” 

She takes a shaky breath. Granted, she stuck her feet into a freezing cold pool. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry if I hurt you,” she keeps talking before she loses her nerve. “Rans only got me to a therapist by tricking me. And you’re so... good at listening when I say no. That must’ve been hard.” 

“Yep,” a somewhat unfamiliar voice says. It’s higher pitched than she remembers. “It fucking sucked, Lards.” 

“Shits?” Lardo says. 

“Yea beautiful?” Shitty says.

Something slips down her cheek. “I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I left without telling you. You must’ve been worried.” 

She hears something like a sob mixed with a laugh. 

“Fuck,” Lardo whispers, wiping her face again. “I’m really fucked up.” 

“Yea,” Shitty says. “Me too.” 

Lardo shakes her head. “It’s not that fucking easy, is it?” 

“Nah, we both know it takes two to tango.” 

“Especially if you’re Tango,” they both say at the same time. 

She hears Shitty laugh, and it’s really fucking beautiful. It’s dumb, because this is her ex. Her ex who she just called to apologize to, but still—

“You sound happier,” Lardo says. 

“Yea, I guess,” Shitty admits. “I, uh, I took a fucking hard look in the mirror after you left. And after we fought last year at ASG.” 

“Yea?” 

“I wasn’t happy either.”  

“I know, but I shouldn’t have made it your job to make us both happy—”

“You didn’t, Lards,” Shitty says. “Sure, you shut me out and went on a massive depression spiral. Which was like, scary as shit, don’t get me wrong. But you made sure I was always taken care of.” 

“So why weren’t you happy?”

“I guess I was stuck in Egypt.” 

Lardo frowns. “You mean living in denial, Shits?” 

“Bingo,” Shitty says with a laugh.   

“About what?” She immediately regrets asking, because they aren’t anything to each other. “Forget I asked, but if you wanna talk, I’m here.” 

“Uh,” Shitty says slowly. “I grew out my hair again? I started hormone therapy? I’m not a dude, as it turns out.” 

Lardo closes her eyes, thinking of the days when they were young and in love. When they swapped clothes freely and spent most afternoons doing homework in each other’s underwear. 

“I’m so happy for you, Shits.” 

“Thanks,” Shitty says with a quiet chuckle. “It’s pretty fucking weird most days. I just get to wake up and be me. What is that?” 

“That’s kinda the point,” she says with a laugh. “Wait, what are you pronouns?”

“She/her, but they/them is alright,” Shitty says. “You?”

“You know what mine are,” Lardo says. 

“Maybe I like hearing you say them,” she says. 

Lardo sighs, with a grin on her face. “It’s all the same to me, just don’t call me a girl or I’ll murder you.” 

“Fuck yea you will,” she whispers fondly. 

“Lards! We’re putting on  _ Singing in the Rain _ , you in?” Holster shouts from the patio door. 

“Duty calls, huh,” Shitty says. 

Lardo nods before realizing that she can’t see her. 

“Can I call you back? Sometime,” Lardo says awkwardly. 

“Sure,” she says. “That’d be awesome.” 

 

_/.\\_ 

 

January 2022 

 

Lardo’s standing on her tiptoes in the middle of McCarran airport, trying to see past the crowd. She’s tried, and failed, to see around people. The worst part of Vegas is how densely populated it is at any given time. She can stand the noise for long enough, especially with her noise cancelling headphones. But there’s no getting around the fluorescent lights and sea of bodies. 

“Lards, we can look out for her just fine,” Kent says next to her. “You don’t have to strain yourself.” 

“Yea, poorly,” Lardo chirps. 

He crosses his arms, shrugging to Jack, who’s not looking up from his phone. 

Lardo sighs; they’ve been waiting for twenty minutes. “I’m grabbing a coffee.” 

“For you, or everyone?” Kent asks. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she says. 

“Please and thank you,” he says playfully. “I love you.” 

“Yea, yea,” she says as she waves him off and heads to the coffee shop on the other side of baggage claim. 

She waits in line behind a few people. A tall woman in front of her catches her attention. Her hair is a gorgeous shade of brown, and her black crop top looks really good with her white mesh skirt. The sight of her makes Lardo blush, hard. She’s really awkward around pretty women... pretty people in general. But women are definitely harder for her to interact with confidently.   

When the woman gets to the front of the line, her order takes Lardo by surprise. 

“Triple shot no foam caramel macchiato, two green tea fraps, extra whipped cream on both, and a blonde roast with nothing in it,” she says. 

Lardo has to contain a scream. She knows that voice. 

“That’ll be fifteen eighty three,” the barista says. 

“And that’ll be on me, actually,” Lardo says, stepping over to hand the barista her credit card. 

The woman beside her chuckles. “Been in Vegas five seconds and randos are already trying to seduce me.”

“Well, I only do this for the pretty ones,” Lardo says. 

“I’m pretty huh?” she says as they move out of the way for the next customer. 

Lardo snorts. “Shitty, you’re gorgeous, don’t even pretend you don’t know that.” 

Shitty cackles. “Well you ruined my peace offering, so you might as well pay.” 

“You were going to charge it to Jack’s card anyway,” she says, avoiding eye contact so she won’t make an even bigger fool of herself. 

“True,” Shitty says. 

They’re quiet for a moment, but it doesn’t feel awkward. Just a mutual sort of excitement that only comes from finally seeing someone they’ve wanted to see for forever. 

They’ve talked on the phone almost every day for months now. It’s odd, because to Lardo it feels like a lifetime. They just talk, and it’s the most reassuring thing. She knows they aren’t the same people they used to be. That’s half the excitement, meeting someone new in someone you missed. 

Her arm accidentally brushes against Shitty’s. She’s about to apologize when a pinky hooks easily into hers. 

“Hi Shits,” Lardo says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Hey Lards,” she says quietly. “How’ve you been?”

“You know how I’ve been.”

“Maybe I wanna know how you are today,” she says warmly. 

Lardo shuffles a little closer to her so their bare arms touch. Only in Vegas would it be this nice in January. Of course, the mid-fifties isn’t as warm as it gets in the summer. But it’s not nearly cold enough to consider it winter. They’re both used to much worse. 

“I’m...tired,” Lardo admits. “Your boyfriend tricked the Aces into playing Settlers—”

“No,” Shitty interrupts. “He didn't, Catan is fucking banned for a reason.” 

“He sure as fuck did. We were up until three. I feel like death.” 

“You’re the cutest death I’ve ever seen,” she says. 

Lardo blushes. “Thanks.” 

The barista calls out their order. 

“How was the flight?” Lardo asks. 

“Fucking awesome,” she says before cracking her neck. “Fuck corporate America for creating a class system for airlines, but holy fucking shit is First Class nice.” 

“You spent the entire time sleeping, didn’t you.” 

Shitty whistles innocently. Lardo hip checks her before grabbing a drink sleeve for Jack’s coffee. 

“I’m carrying those,” Shitty insists. “Can’t have you taking credit for my bribery.” 

“Fine,” Lardo relents. 

Shitty’s purse starts ringing. “Can you get that?” 

“Sure,” Lardo says as she zips open Shitty’s bag. The caller ID reads Jack. 

She answers the call. “I won, dipstick.” 

“What year are we in,” Shitty chirps. 

“Where are you?” Jack asks. 

“Getting coffee with Shits,” Lardo says. “You have her bags?”

“Yes, stay there,” Jack says before hanging up. 

“Incoming,” Lardo murmurs. 

“Lards?” 

“Yea?” she says, finally looking at Shitty. “You shaved.” 

She smirks. Her eyes twinkle, because of course they do. As if Shitty isn’t always stupidly beautiful. 

“Yea, I’ve been waiting for you to look for like, ever.” 

Lardo bites her lip. “I, uh, I like it.” 

“You miss my ‘stache,” she says. 

“A little,” Lardo admits. “But you always look too attractive for words—”

Shitty laughs as Lardo winces at her own words. 

“And I’m gonna shut up now,” Lardo says. 

“Nah, it’s ok, you’re feelings are totally valid and majorly appreciated.”

“I’m glad.” 

Lardo wants to ask if they’re reciprocated in anyway, but it feels awkward and like the wrong time. Plus, Jack and Kent are walking over with Shitty’s luggage in tow. Jack reaches her first, pulling her in for a kiss. 

“Hey, Shits,” Jack says before kissing her again. “Missed you.” 

“Missed you too, you beautiful motherfucker,” she says. “Now back the fuck up and take your demon coffee.” 

He snorts as he takes his drink from her. 

“Kenny, babe, here,” Shitty says, handing him his frappuccino.

“Aw you really do know how to bribe,” Kent says. 

“I’m offended, sir, the mere thought—”

“It’s a bribe,” Lardo cuts in. 

“Oh totally,” Kent agrees. “You forget my order half the fucking time.” 

“You must have me confused with another stunningly beautiful type person,” she insists. 

They almost derail the conversation into a chirping session, almost, but Jack ushers them toward the parking garage. 

“We can walk there ourselves, Zimms,” Kent says when Jack is still corralling them toward the car. 

“Can we?” Lardo asks. “We couldn’t get drinks by ourselves.” 

“Eh, whatever,” Kent grumbles. “Coffee’s biphobic anyway.” 

“How?” Jack asks seriously. 

“I’m bi and I’d rather drink tea.” 

Jack stops walking, trying to process Kent’s joke. Shitty pushes him onward. 

“It’s not funny enough to get hung up on, babe,” she tells Jack. 

“Is that why he called the air conditioner homophobic the other day?” he asks Lardo.

She pushes past him, unlocking Perry’s SUV.

“Ok several questions,” Lardo says. “How do you not know about a joke that was popular like five years ago? Kent, why are you still using that joke? And, uh, shotgun.” 

“It’s a good one,” Kent insists. “Guess I’m driving. Lovebirds can take the back.” 

Lardo helps Shitty put her stuff in hatchback, trying to be as casual as possible. It really isn’t working, especially when Jack asks if she’s overheated. But Shitty laughs, and it’s almost worth the embarrassment. 

_/.\\_ 

November 2021 

 

“Ok I’m spent. I just gave a talk to first gen students on immigration reform and the rights of undocumented citizens,” Shitty says over the phone one afternoon. “What’d you do today?” 

“Gee, Shits, I didn’t have time to save the gorillas because I was too busy spoon feeding orphaned panthers, but I might have time to stop climate change after lunch,” Lardo chirps. 

Lardo’s commandeered the master bedroom for a half an hour everyday to talk to Shitty. It’s not something they have to do, but it’s nice. The conversations are easy, and the bed is really comfortable. It’s just a way for Lardo to decompress when she gets back from work and the boys have already left for a game.  

She hears Shitty do her signature stretch and groan. “I didn’t ask what Super Lardo did for us mere mortals today. I asked what’s up with mild mannered artist, Larissa Duan.” 

“Oh I’m mild now?” 

“Only when you take your super suit off,” Shitty jokes. 

“If you make me watch the  _ Incredibles 2 _ again—”

“You liked it,” she says. 

“I like you,” Lardo argues without thinking.   

Shitty clears her throat. Lardo realizes what she said. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry, forget that... that I ever said that.” 

“Is it true?” Shitty asks quietly. 

“Uh,” Lardo says closing her eyes. “I think I need two shots of fireball to answer that.” 

“It’s ok, Lards, you don’t have to answer,” she says. “I was just wondering... But no pressure, seriously.”

Lardo closes her eyes. She starts pacing the bedroom. She doesn’t want to be more vulnerable than this. But it’s Shitty, and something about the way she asks every fucking day how Lardo’s doing—how much she fucking cares that Lardo’s ok—and never expects much back makes Lardo want to give her the world. She’s kind and patient. Maybe she was before, but she’s happier. They both are. 

It makes a fucking world of a difference. 

“Remember when we fought at ASG?” Lardo asks. “And we were fighting in that bar in Toronto?” 

“Chyeah, how could I forget?” 

“Did I ever say I don’t love you anymore?” 

It’s silent for several beats. 

“No,” Shitty says. “Fuck, you didn’t.” 

Lardo licks her lips. “Does that answer your question?” 

“For now, yea,” she says. “Thanks for jogging my memory.” 

“No problem,” Lardo says.    
They make small talk for a little while longer until Shitty has to go sleep. When they hang up, Lardo promptly crashes onto the bed, and buries her head in her pillow. She’s an idiot, she knows that much. A helpless idiot. 

_/.\\_

December 2021 

“Why don’t you tell me how work was?” Shitty asks after talking for an hour about gossip at her firm. 

Lardo nods, reaching for her bag and sketchbook on the other side of the bed. 

“I just started doodling a bunch of trans and nonbinary designs,” she says. 

“Yea? That’s fucking rad.”

“I know.” Lardo clears her throat. “I uh, I’ve had a lot of good inspiration lately.” 

Shitty hums. “Any of them skin worthy yet?” 

“Probably not,” Lardo admits. “I think all of them need somes tweaks, but it’s a start.” 

“Hey Lards?”

“Yea, Shits?” 

“One day you’re gonna tattoo a Lardo original all across my back, ok?”

Her breath hitches. “You sure?” 

“Fuck yea,” Shitty says. “I miss those paintings. You knew how to make me feel beautiful.” 

“You’re always beautiful,” Lardo says, clearing her throat. “But good. You deserve the world, Shits.” 

“So do you,” she whispers back. 

The Falcs are in New York, and the Aces are in San Jose. They’re both sorta alone tonight, only not really. They have each other and an album they’ve been meaning to listen to together. They’ve been talking for hours about anything and everything. Lardo forgot how much better her day gets after she talks to Shitty. 

They just get each other. It’s easy between them most days. There’s the occasional old argument that bubbles up. But they’ve gotten a lot better at talking those out and finally laying them to rest. 

Lardo pulls the covers over her head. She imagines Shitty in her bed in her and Jack’s apartment. She thinks about how they’ve always slept on opposite sides of the bed and faced each other. She pretends they’re together, just watching each other as they talk and get acquainted. Lardo imagines reaching out to fix a strand of her hair. 

“Night Lards,” Shitty whispers quietly, half asleep. “Love you.” 

The line goes dead. Lardo spends half the night wondering if Shitty meant to say that. And if they’re on the same page when she says love like that. 

_/.\\_ 

January 2022 

 

The Aces have a rare Friday night off, so half the team shows up for dinner. Fortunately for Lardo, she can get away with loitering in the kitchen and helping out when needed. Unfortunately for Lardo, Shitty’s found a way to make trousers look insurmountably  attractive. Which makes it even harder to have a casual conversation with her when Lardo has to come up with intelligible things to say to a successful immigration lawyer. 

Sure, she knows Shitty. They have miles of history between them. But it’s not the same, she thinks. There’s the people they were and the people they are. She doesn’t want a whole lot to do with the people they were, even though they had a lot in common, mostly a school and hockey team, to bond them. 

Now Lardo’s a tattoo apprentice out in Vegas and Shitty’s a kickass lawyer with a degree from Harvard. They’re different people. Lardo loves Nevada, and the West. She doesn’t think she could ever reconform to New England standards. She’s felt underdressed around Shitty all day. It’s ok, she keeps trying to remind herself. They’re friends. Shitty’s a guest. There’s nothing big or serious going on. 

She smacks herself in the face. Like she hasn’t told herself that before. Instead, she looks for Ransom, who’s talking to a few rookies about the upcoming Olympics. She gently butts her head into his arm. Without prompting, he wraps an arm around her waist and excuses them both. 

He leads her to the master bedroom. Once the door is closed he kisses her firmly. 

“You ok?” he asks. 

“Can you teach me how to stop being a queer mess?” 

“If I knew, I’d tell you,” he says. “But I’m usually worse, so this conversation isn’t doing you any favors.” 

She groans, falling backwards onto the bed. 

“That bad huh?”

“I just don’t know what to say around her,” she says. 

“Because…” 

“Because she’s not some smelly hockey player following the quiet art student around as if I’m fucking cool,” Lardo says exasperatedly. “She’s cool, and so out of my league.” 

“Uh—”

“Yea yea, last time I said that I got a boyfriend,” she says. “But he’s in Calgary, and the rest of you are busy mingling.” 

“Wow, it’s like you’ve run out of human buffers and should just talk to her already,” Ransom chirps. 

Lardo shushes him. 

She scrubs her face. “Why is being a person so difficult?” 

“Because mental illnesses are the literal worst?” 

“That’s honestly the only explanation I’ll accept. You think I’m gonna make it weird?”

“Just be you,” he says. “What’d you tell me when I wanted to get back together with Jack?”

“Trust your gut, if he’s worth it he’ll be a mess too,” she recalls. 

“Are you a mess?”

“Completely, totally,  and emphatically, yes.” 

“Imagine how she feels, coming to visit you when you broke up with her,” Ransom says. 

Sometimes that slips from Lardo’s mind, that she was the one who left. They weren’t happy, for a really long time. But they were mostly stuck in their own minds. Shitty wanted her, and missed her. It’s easy for her to forget that other people want her as much as she wants them. Self-love is a work in progress. It’ll get easier eventually. 

“Ok, I’ll try,” she says finally. 

She gets up, fixing her hair and kissing Ransom before going back downstairs. Shitty’s loitering by the bottom of the staircase, arms crossed and looking wholly out of place. 

“Hey,” Lardo says as she approaches. “Wanna get some fresh air?” 

Shitty nods, following Lardo to the back yard. Some players are lingering around the pool, but the fire pit is empty and has the comfiest seats in the backyard. Lardo sits down so they don’t play their age old game of “you can sit first.” Shitty takes a chair and puts it right against Lardo’s. Their knees touch, but neither of them move. Lardo swallows her fears as much as physically possible. 

“Hi,” Lardo tells Shitty with a small smile. 

“Hey yourself,” she replies. “You drag me out here just to say hi?” 

Lardo buries her face in her hands. “Uh, no?” 

“C’mon Lards, it’s not that hard is it?” 

“That’s what she said,” Lardo chirps. 

Shitty laughs. “I know, I literally just said it.” 

Lardo knocks their knees. “So, hypothetically speaking, in a completely fabricated alternate reality—”

“Those are only my favorite realities ever,” she says. “But continue.” 

“Uh, if I was completely hung up on someone that I never really got over and they’re just like... so perfect I think I might die of how horribly, disgustingly in love I am—”

“Love, you say,” Shitty interrupts, stroking her chin. “Well that sounds very serious.” 

“It is,” she says lightly. “Or I want it to be? But I don’t want to make a complete ass of myself and assume the feeling’s mutual.” 

“I’m sure the feeling is very mutual,” Shitty argues. 

“You think?” Lardo says hesitantly. 

“Yea, well, I can’t speak for whoever this is,” she says. “but most people don’t willingly go visit someone halfway across the country if they’re not also hung up on that person.” 

Lardo reaches to bite her nails, but Shitty catches it gently. She kisses Lardo’s hand slowly. 

“Maybe sometimes someone wants nothing more than to ask someone out, but they’re kind of scared shitless.” 

Lardo frowns, scooting closer. “Why?”

“Well, if memory serves,” Shitty says, wrinkling nose like she used to to make her moustache move. “I think this person was dumped by the person who’s ‘disgustingly in love’ with them. And they’ve probably spent the last month trying not to fly to Vegas at the drop of a hat to try to reconcile with this person, because what if they’re just making all this lovey dovey shit up in their head. That would really fucking suck.” 

Shitty’s eyes are bright, vulnerable, and just shimmering in the moonlight. Lardo leans in closer, moving a strand of hair away from Shitty’s face without breaking contact. 

“Hey Shits,” she says quietly. 

“Yea Lards?” 

“I love you, and I want you,” Lardo says. “Can I please kiss you?”

“Yea, babe,” Shitty says quietly. “I love you too.” 

It’s not a first kiss, because they’ve done this before. It’s the first kiss as the people she wishes they were back then. Maybe they’re still down there, somewhere, still in love. But she likes them now better. Shitty and Lardo, two queer people in a polycule, learning to love each other again. 

Their second kiss is slow yet brazen. Lardo smiles into their third kiss, still in pleasant disbelief. Shitty stops their kiss, pecking Lardo on the nose. 

“Can I take you out for dinner tomorrow night?” Shitty asks. “I promised myself if I ever got a second shot with you I’d treat you like a fucking queen.” 

Lardo kisses her again with tears rolling down her face. They’re good tears. She’s happy, more than happy. A light breeze passes them, reminding her that this isn’t a fantasy. They’re here. They made it. 

“As long as you let me take you out for dessert after,” Lardo says. “I promised myself that I’d never take you for granted ever again, no matter what we are to each other.” 

Shitty kisses her like it’s last thing she’ll ever do. It feels like everything they’ve been through the last four years was worth it to get them to this place.  

**Author's Note:**

> fic title - lyrics from Things We Never Say by Bad Bad Hats ~ if nothing else, please look up this song and imagine it from Shitty's POV
> 
> Check out what else is going on for Lardo Week in our [AO3 Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/lardo_week_2018) and [on Tumblr!](https://lardo-week.tumblr.com/)


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